It’s raining. Additionally it’s still unpleasantly hot. So those who sit in their offices can sweat their coffee out while the ones on the outside are getting their make-ups washed. But I don’t really want to comment the weather. I leave that to the annoying football commentators as it adds a bit of suspense to the whole fan and commercial society.
I’m also not really in the mood of writing, so I’ll just leave a few links to a great comedian who died four days ago. He’s known by the Americans for going past the limits of TV and Radio manners. What I find kind of interesting - and I don’t know much from his shows - is, that he managed to speak to a big audience in a direct and uncensored way but staying both understandable and on a sometimes high level of the communication itself.
In one of George Carlins best known routines, he went against euphemisms and said that they’ve become so widespread that no one can simply ‘die’. To phrase it in his words:
‘Older’ sounds a little better than ‘old’, doesn’t it? Sounds like it might even last a little longer. [..] I’m getting old. And it’s OK. Because thanks to our fear of death in this country I won’t have to die - I’ll ‘pass away’. Or I’ll ‘expire’, like a magazine subscription. If it happens in the hospital they’ll call it a ‘terminal episode’. The insurance company will refer to it as ‘negative patient care outcome’. And if it’s the result of malpractice they’ll say it was a ‘therapeutic misadventure’.
Links:
those famous seven words at YouTube
about soft language at YouTube
religion and sun worshipping at YouTube
June 26, 2008
Every movement freezes in your mind. Actions become series of pictures. You feel widely awake and at the same time completely numb to direct influences on yourself. The drugs produced by your body are floating your blood circulation. When you think, time stops. Your heart pumps like it tries to drown out your breaths. All muscles and tendons are tense. Your thoughts focus at the current place and time. Everything is under your control. One blink to crush the city; one thought to destroy the world.
At this state, unexpected events are often the stinging pain of reality. Nothing happens without reason. But what if we can’t find the reasons? Does reality jab you in your back? One thing is for sure: you could process a thousand pictures a second; if the flapper comes when unexpected, it won’t help at all.
The question is not: to drink or not to drink. Rather, you should ask yourself: are you fly enough to open your wings even if the light at the end of the tunnel could meet up with you halfway with a hundred miles per hour? Regret only exists in life. What drives you when you bear that in mind? Is it yesterday’s memory, the thought of tomorrow, or the possibility of none?
Sugar makes your heartbeat sweeter!
March 12, 2008
Life is like this yellow curved fruit. You can put it in a plastic bag and within a week the only thing you can do is to throw it away. But that’s not all. Dip it in coffee and you got a vitamin and caffeine stick with an slight weird taste. Alright, what I really meant was that nothing is really straight. Life needs things to be flexible and bendable in order to fit together. The lesson here is to let yourself be a bit bendable. Don’t stick to every textbook you read and don’t be stiff like a saltstick. The time will come where the pressure on both of your ends will be to much and break you into pieces. Flexibility is a good thing. Not only in the gym.
Another speciality is the thick skin with the smooth inner potential fruitshake. Learn to accept those dark bruises on your outer layer. Time will heal them. There you are even superior to the special banana powers. Don’t let everything effect your inner-smoothie. You’ll only ruin your taste. And who will like you when you taste like an already chewed chewing gum?
After all, judge your monkey-cucumber by its skin very carefully. Most of the time, the inside will be sweeter anyway. Peeling will be worth the effort. And leave them on the tree while they’re still green. However, now I’ve gone off-topic. Security isn’t everything but flexibility is.
Be aware of a life shortage when living in a plastic bag!
February 19, 2008
Are you quick at repartee? How do you respond to someone asking “What’s up loser”? Is that where you draw your punchline? Some might say that it doesn’t matter what other potential mentally less gifted individuals loose orally. Besides their filthy slobber. And they’re right. It doesn’t change their way along the gutter. Nevertheless, it doesn’t hurt to respond for the sake of our adaptability to the most obscure events. If it did hurt in the end - well, I was just suggesting.
Depending on the threats you may focus, possible reactions could be: “Wait, are you talking with your mouth or are you just losing fluids?” (could lead to confrontation); “Oh, dirt learned talking!” (you may want to learn karate first); “The same as yesterday, while you were cleaning the lavatory and I was doing the dirty work to make you uncle!” (for the smart and intellectual stop of this conversation); Whatever comes out of your mouth should be spontaneous. To say deliberately nothing and just keep going on with your actual business is also a nice way to show gruel ignorance. Because, let’s be honest, most questions are powered by the need for confrontation.
One neat example is attributed to Winston Churchill who gave Nancy Astor, who said to him “If I were your wife, I’d put arsenic in your coffee” the following response “And if I were your husband, I would drink it”. This demonstrates very nice how fast you can turn an argument around without leaving much opening for another tit-for-tat response.
Don’t take life too seriously, death is anyway!
February 13, 2008
A recent article about time stated that time as such may be only an illusion. It has to do with its importance in quantum mechanics and its conformity to the general relativity. Well, lots of science can make the head go round. At the moment, I don’t care much about quantum mechanics. But I care, like most of us, about the 25 days of holiday the same way I care about the daily caffeine intake to make the most out of the other days. So, what is time anyway?
Yesterday I listened to some questions from kids about time and speed on some radio show (Yeah, radio still exists!). One question caught my attention ‘How long can a day be?’. Seems pretty obvious at first sight. When you ponder a bit, you might realise that time can be described as change of one state to another. In a system without any change, it may look as if no time would pass. This means, the more accurate your clock is, the faster your time is passing. That’s maybe one of the reasons I don’t wear any watches.
The reason we invented time was to make synchronisation easier. In order to get the most out of our precious time we try to perfect our timing by making us slaves of an imaginary unit. We call it progress. I call it decreative. What I mean is that every step to rigorous accuracy leads to a loss in the experience of pleasure. A planning for events is more useful than to determine a specific date.
The only place we’ll ever travel to is future, and it’s just a matter of time!
February 11, 2008
How do I get attention? In a former post of mine (To talk about sex) I wrote about the labyrinth thoughts have to cross after they entered the auditory system of their target. The shorter and faster ways are the more interesting ones. You take them by using catch words and by making perfect connections between various thoughts.
When it’s about connections my own ones flash like radar equipment placed between a coffee shop and a toilet facility. For the Internet similar rules exist. Hyperlinks are the key to success. Or, how many people do you know, still entering whole web addresses into their browser windows?
Sorry, this isn’t going to be an entry about blogging. That would be like looking up the word Thesaurus in a Thesaurus. It’s more about Clowns. I mentioned this exclusive species in there (In the dark shadows die) and their time has finally come. We are about to pretend that we care with useless crap we spent hours purchasing because of unnecessary long waiting lines. Hell, with current technology you may even order, pay, pack and send useless stuff within the same mouse click. Guess how long it took me to get your present?
If you don’t know what to give, then don’t try to force something into the ungrateful role of your gift. Maybe you were born to be careless and evil. So, be careless! Everything else is just a lie.
True love is just a link away!
December 11, 2007
Writing can be a massage for your soul. However, sometimes it tends to be more like a pain in the posterior. Mostly, that’s the case when you think you can use the aforesaid body part for the actual creative thinking process. The reason is that thinking itself is heavily influenced by every one of your operational senses. So, sitting on your rear part and just staring at a piece of paper is probably as inspiring as counting your own body hair.
Distractions are good for your thoughts. Actually, not every diversion is a good one. If you just got right into a special thought, it can really - oh, there is the coffee, gently smoothing around my keyboard ..where was I?
So everything changes. Every second new inventions are made, people change their minds and idiots forget to switch off their phones in the library. Despite the fact that every hour an announcement about turning off all phones whilst being at the inside is played. Even the announcement is annoying. But let’s be reasonable, it could have been an important call. Who wouldn’t want to know if bananas were for sale in your local store. And, hey, bananas! Anyhow, what really is embarrassing are those ring tones where you think somebody brought in a live band. First of all, your mobile sucks. Secondly, your music sounds like crap. And thirdly, you are what you like.
You can tell who to dislike by their ring tone and volume!
November 24, 2007
