Archive for November, 2007

To beat your own statistics

Organisms love patterns. The reason is quite simple. They like to predict behaviour correctly. Obviously, being right has the mentionable advantage of triggering the ejection seat at the right moment or deciding not to fight with two angry jaguars. But besides that, simple patterns are just boring.
However, scientists found out why the hell humans laugh. They analysed jokes and dah, dah,.. The reason we laugh is out of curiosity. Some may also laugh because somebody tickles them. Nevertheless, this means that you can make up a joke by stating something and afterwards just use a line that wouldn’t be predicted easily. So, if we predict something wrong, laughing will release endorphins and still make us happy. It’s only a question of how to explain that to the jaguars.

This reminds me of one of my favourite quotes. ‘Confusion is always the most honest response’ by Marty Indik. (Uh, interesting, my cerebral cortex seems to messed up confusion and curiosity.) However I found out that he also said ‘Half of analysis is anal’. Notice! This second quote is the perfect and short example to the theory of jokes mentioned before. What else did I have to find out? ‘”Non-notable lawyer.” by LrdChaos’ in July 2006. If that isn’t notable?
How trustworthy is the Internet? If you know something about Mr Indik, LrdChaos or July 2006 – tell me, I’m dying to know. Not physically, more on a neurological level.
Statistics reveal: don’t trust statistics!


November 29, 2007 at 7:34 pm 2 comments

In our dreams we’re free

Advertisements show us our dreams. Impossible things might come true. Buy and you’ll see! We might. But we also can, if we don’t buy. Everywhere messages try to trick our minds. ‘Buy three for two’ – nice, but what if you only need one? ‘Cleans so well, you can even remove your bugging friend’ – well, if you had one? ‘Makes you look 10 years younger’ – what would the 14-year old girl say?
The nasty thing is, we can’t really help it. Influence is everywhere. The more underlying and modest, the more dangerous it is. Just think about the small snacks right before the check-out in the stores. Oh, those evil little gifts, almost as cheap as the energy gained by eating them. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak. Nonsense, we are just lazy and like to have our bellies full and our beer right in front of us.

Things we like don’t last for long. Matters we dislike seem to take for ages. That relies mostly on how much we concentrate on various processes. If we count every second, it might be hardly surprising that it takes all the 107 thousand ..and counting. Where is the connection? Ads try to remind us gently of things we dislike. So what’s my point? Dreams don’t last for long.
Buy two of them, it could be your last day!

November 26, 2007 at 10:51 pm 2 comments

In times like these

Writing can be a massage for your soul. However, sometimes it tends to be more like a pain in the posterior. Mostly, that’s the case when you think you can use the aforesaid body part for the actual creative thinking process. The reason is that thinking itself is heavily influenced by every one of your operational senses. So, sitting on your rear part and just staring at a piece of paper is probably as inspiring as counting your own body hair.
Distractions are good for your thoughts. Actually, not every diversion is a good one. If you just got right into a special thought, it can really – oh, there is the coffee, gently smoothing around my keyboard ..where was I?

So everything changes. Every second new inventions are made, people change their minds and idiots forget to switch off their phones in the library. Despite the fact that every hour an announcement about turning off all phones whilst being at the inside is played. Even the announcement is annoying. But let’s be reasonable, it could have been an important call. Who wouldn’t want to know if bananas were for sale in your local store. And, hey, bananas! Anyhow, what really is embarrassing are those ring tones where you think somebody brought in a live band. First of all, your mobile sucks. Secondly, your music sounds like crap. And thirdly, you are what you like.
You can tell who to dislike by their ring tone and volume!

November 24, 2007 at 11:50 pm 1 comment

In mental derangement

As we find ourselves comparing our thoughts to colours of dissolved instant coffee, inner concerns about our own importance may rise. You see, you might spend 1,800 hours a year working at some project and still achieve no real progress in your life. Is it worth those 780 cups of coffee? Or do I have to ask the other way around?
If I sleep another 1,800 hours, when does the rest of approximately 5,100 hours go up in smoke? I mentioned coffee. The drug of hard workers, students and Alcoholics Anonymous. Various studies suggest an healthy intake of two to five cups a day. Not the cups labelled ‘pint’! These are for the other stuff. Well, I think one tremble replaces the other. Hey, everybody knows that lots of people get drunk every night. But that’s me talking jealous after 355 days without any ethanol consumption. There is something I got to do in roughly a week. It has to do with C and OH and evil chemistry.

Paracelsus said something like “die Dosis macht das Gift” which may be understood as a kind of definition. It’s poison when you can’t handle the dose. But as humans tend to see everything as good or evil, let’s say poison starts where Good switches concentrate and thinning agent. Poison is an extreme. Too much of pretty everything is evil. So God, seen as a hundred percent excellence, would be evil. How’s that saying about evil and genius again?
If you’re walking on a thin line, pass on the spirituous liquids!

November 22, 2007 at 8:24 pm 2 comments

In the line of desire

The last time I talked longer than a minute to someone, I realised something once more. As soon as you realise that you won’t get money, power or sex out of someone’s statements, they might become plain, boring word constructs. So why talk to some mate about anything if he cannot be considered as potential sexual partner, assuming that there are relatively small chances of a nice sister – or brother if you’d prefer, he or she wants to introduce to you.
Once there was Mr Pavlov. I’m not talking about his dog or the book Brave New World, which I regardless would recommend to anybody. Actually, I don’t even want to talk about him at all, but about Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. If you can tell me the connection between both psychologists you will be rewarded with one of the cookies I might receive due to my last posting.

The hierarchy of needs is an important concept you have to understand to accept yourself the way you are and to find your own definition of happiness. I don’t say I agree to the whole concept, but it seems like a headstone to many aspects of life. It also eases conducting conversations. If you see someone going to the toilet, one of the lowest needs and thus weightiest, it’s probably the worst possible moment to talk about your own song-writing creativity which would be on top of the hierarchy. For me, the most important lesson to learn is the following: any attempt to satisfy your top need of self-realisation when you lack fulfilment in your lower needs like security, sleep or sexual intimacy, is most likely going to fail.
Make the lowest issue ‘breathing’ your top priority!

November 20, 2007 at 8:06 am 1 comment

In the dark shadows die

November is my personal declared ‘november rain’ month. Everything is grey, or gray if you’re in the United States. Not even the daylight-saving time helps much in that case. So what to do with all this darkness? Some deniers always find the time to celebrate. They start off with crazy costumes and pumpkins and change into their carnival dresses afterwards. A hundred doughnuts later they switch to mulled wine and hot punch and slur ‘evrithinks fein’. Some believers impatiently await next months big birthday party with trees and red clowns wearing beards. But I’m grasping ahead..

Well, not everything is fine. Actually, many things look really bad. That’s something everybody should admit sometimes. No reason to burn your trees, flush your cookies and hang yourself with your Luftschlangen. The thing with the cookies really depends on your baking skills. You may send them to me before you feed your toilet. In case you ask, if my opinion had been requested to transcribe Luftschlange, it would be known as wrangler by now. Not as boring ‘paper streamer’.
Anyway, it is very important that we have sad, sentimental times. Otherwise we forget how this feels, lose sight of our goals and let reality fall apart. We should appreciate rainy days as we do with good times.
Fun is where gravity loses weight!

November 14, 2007 at 8:33 pm Leave a comment

In thoughts nothing matters

Unsaid things tend to have little influence on world affairs. This may be sad as many great thoughts are lost within the face of oblivion. Anyhow, for some minds – believe me in that – it really is a very good thing. No doubt, there is always the messenger and the receiver point of view. But what does it matter when one is just honest and the other one is just mad. Anyway, this interface between two minds, may the transmission method be words, signs or smells, is a highly interesting field of research.
If you manage to truly understand what your counterpart is up to, you can probably achieve everything. That’s one of the reasons why rhetorics is quite a profitable business today. Its importance was known long ago as there were great orators in almost every culture. But, for example among the old Greeks, it appears that they shortened their lifespan by expanding their knowledge. Well, you should know when to shut your mouth.

Ever tried to insult someone while smiling by using a language the other one is not able to understand? That can be really satisfying but it’s also a kind of a lie and not what I’m talking about. What I mean is the potential of telling someone ‘I love your work in the way it is contrary to mine, which on the other hand has the advantage of showing the right figures and that’s the reason we should use mine, this time!’ instead of ‘Your work is trash. We’ll use mine, you piece of crap!’
Fight your wars within your thoughts!

November 12, 2007 at 10:33 pm Leave a comment

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