Posts tagged ‘answer’

How can you be sure

It may seem like an easy question. When do you know something? Is it at the end of the poker game where you win and might say ‘I told you so’, or when you make a turn and crash your car into another one thinking ‘I knew it’. That doesn’t sound so difficult, does it?
But what if your questions are ‘is this the work I want to do till I grow old’ or ‘is this girl worth rethinking one to 26 thousand decisions’? When can you trust someone with your problems? When can you do anything you like without feeling ashamed even the tiniest bit? When can you be 100 percent sure to call some place ‘home’?

The answer is: we can’t be sure, ever. Except maybe that instant of a second where our perception meets our expectation. But as soon as that happens there is no open question anymore. For the interesting answers that probably means that your life is about to end. Then you can finally say: that pizza in that small restaurant in 1999 was truly the best I’ve ever had.
So, how can we find our answers until then? What base shall we build our decisions onto? How to live a life without regrets?
I don’t know – nobody does (or else they’re lying)!
The only thing you can do is to learn to accept and to live with the decisions you once made!

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December 11, 2008 at 5:24 pm Leave a comment

Entscheidungsfreudiges Abwarten

Dieser Eintrag ist eigentlich 8 Tage alt. Aber eben doch nicht. Sind Entscheidungen also wirklich so schwer zu treffen? Treffen wir nicht tausende Entscheidungen pro Tag? Was macht eine gute Entscheidung aus? Ist es wichtig, dass alle möglichen Kriterien miteinbezogen werden?
Das Problem an so einer Auswahlmöglichkeitsfestlegung ist wohl unser eigenes Unwissen. Und natürlich unsere Angst davor. Jemand der sich seiner selbst nicht bewusst ist, neigt auch zu schnellen Entscheidungen, hat er doch nichts zu befürchten, da er doch nichts weiß. Gut, also grundsätzlich würde ich sagen, ist es schon gut einiges zu wissen. Beim Fallschirmsprung allerdings nicht 10 Minuten überlegen zu müssen um den Fallschirm auszulösen ist trotzdem ein erheblicher Vorteil. Das mag jetzt banal klingen – aber viele Antworten aus denen wir auswählen müssen sind dies auch. Wir wissen es bloß nicht.
Moment – wissen wir jetzt zuviel und können uns dadurch nicht entscheiden, oder doch zu wenig? Man könnte eventuell sagen: das Wissen, dass wir zu wenig wissen ist schon Wissen genug um unsere Auswahlgeschwindigkeit in die Länge zu ziehen. Doch was können wir jetzt dagegen tun? Wie können wir Spontanität trainieren?

Wie wäre es zB damit kurze Texte über selbst er- oder gefundene Themen zu verfassen. Diese sollen sich verständlich anhören und in irgendeiner Weise doch aus der Nase gezogen sein. Und, nein, meine Einträge beruhen auf jahrelangen wissenschaftlichen Studien mit vielen Formeln und Ergebnissen. Oder doch nicht?
Heutige Aufgabe: überrasche dich selbst!

Surprise:
..with dance at YouTube ~ and Mr. Vader is worth the wait
..with pictures from icanhascheezburger.com ~ bite me!
..or with interesting text ~ see “Der Ausdämpfer” by Mr. Haipl

July 10, 2008 at 7:56 pm Leave a comment

How to be objective

Normally, I’d like to say that there are always two ways: the friendly one and the honest one. Nonetheless, when it comes to be factually there seems to be not so much of a choice. In the sense of communication objectivity can only be achieved by knowing how both, transmitter and receiver, are going to understand a specific message. For humans that is hard indeed, cause there are no strict standards for conversations.
If you just think about some factors like speed, tone, word order, facial expression a lot of possible and different statements can be created even with the same words. As for the message itself, always problematic are for example comparisons, clauses and restrictions. The phrase ‘I like you, but..’ has always a kind of a killer effect. One reason may be that the but-part is the exception to which is usually given more weight.

Another problem shows up when people realise something said might be misunderstood. They switch into defensive mode and that just has to seem like you’re wrong for your conversational counterpart. Even with words less is often more. Skip the unnecessary filler words. Objectivity in the understanding within a group of more than two people would be real luck. You’re sometimes better off by not even trying to find a common communication standard. It takes a lot of time, it’s never guaranteed and most people don’t listen to you anyway.
The answer is: ‘what was the question again’!

February 28, 2008 at 7:16 pm 3 comments

To know what you want

How do you make the right decisions about your future? How to decide if you want to study or start working, to start a family or to climb the business ladder, to go abroad or to settle down? Such choices influence probably a period of five to 10 years of your life. When you think about children the commitment lasts even longer. (Even without commitment the monetary issues will hound you!) So shall we write a chart with all positives and negatives or just hand over the steering wheel to our guts?
I think a lot of truth goes down the toilet, so your digestive tracts are pretty good as it comes to the small questions in life. But when it’s about the massive questions, I think you’re doing good in investing as much time as possible to evaluate the various outcomes. Sometimes it’s helpful to ask people you don’t know well. They don’t care much about your feelings, which is the reason they will tell you their opinion for sure most of the time.

Another suggestion is to tell your questions as what they are – just questions, but not as crucial points and the ‘big search for a solution’. Most people couldn’t even imagine the situation you’re actually in, so why bother them with your core issues. Also, why should you bother yourself with hours of answers you could make abstract movies out of nobody would want to watch instead of taking sleeping pills?
yvan eht nioJ!

December 10, 2007 at 8:51 pm 5 comments


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