Posts tagged ‘word’

Kinderüberraschung

Dezember. Ein Wort. Ein Monat – unweigerlich mit Schnee verbunden. Zumindest für uns Alpenländler. Die Restlichen besucht zumindest ein ergrauter alter Mann im roten Renntierpelz. Doch halt. Aller Neuestens trägt ebenbesagter Mann Designergewänder und hat seinen Bierbauch gegen ein Sixpack getauscht. Rückverwandlung in reinster Form, quasi. Metrosexuelle Männer haben das Christuskind ersetzt. Wurde früher Geburt gefeiert, geht es mittlerweile nur mehr um zwischenmenschliches Schnicksi-Schnacksi. Aufgeklärte Zeitschrift-Abonnements statt Comic-Heftchen für die Kleinen. Sind sie nicht schon alt – und wir noch immer so jung! Dankt den blauen Pillen neben den Partnerberatungsgutscheinen. Es gibt ja für alle Problemchen schon ein Lösungsmittelchen. Günstig und schnell kann alles im großen weiten Internetz geordert werden. Für die Angabe einiger Nummern lässt sich so manches Wunder erstehen. Mehr Kuststoffkarten braucht die Welt!

Gab es früher ein Land der unbegrenzten Unmöglichkeiten, so gibt es heute eine Welt voller unbegrenztem Unwissen. Dass dabei auch die Sucht nach Macht und Geld kaum Grenzen kennt, lässt sich leicht übersehen – wachsen wir doch so schön in unsere eigens geschaffenen technologischen Erleichterungen hinein. Welches Kind weiß nicht mehr was wir ‘googeln’, ‘downloadn’, ‘chatten’ oder was ‘xxx’ wohl bedeuten könnte. Wir züchten unsere Weihnachtsmänner selbst. An eine Weihnachtsfrau wollen wir da besser gar nicht erst denken. Unsere so gelobte Aufgeklärtheit kann uns nicht nur falsche Bilder in den Kopf setzen. Wir werden was wir uns gegenseitig vorhalten.
Und nicht vergessen: sende eine Weihnachtsmail an alle Freunde oder der Weihnachtsmann verkauft sich auf der nächsten Verkaufsplattform. 3, 2, 1 – Überdosis!

Sarkasmus ist der böse Bruder von Ironie.

December 1, 2008 at 7:13 pm Leave a comment

Awesomeness

Sometimes I’m glad that I’m not some sort of language analyst. Or would you like to tell me why awesome can mean ‘some’thing good and awful always has to be terrible. Not to mention the e. Never mind!
Usually it’s bad to start to write just with the inner need to bring words up on a shining display. You may call it some form of desire to create. Then again, most things are started by doing a very different thing. Many Simpsons episodes rely on the concept of a few short stories connected by what often seems like pure accidental thought. Comic writers like Scott Adams create their works by ‘just starting to draw’. Our minds find familiar patterns and thoughts seem to come automatically. It may even look like the results are quite unintentional.

That’s fine and pancake, but it will only make sense and be satisfying when you and your audience find enough connections to other areas they’re familiar with. When the result offers even more relations as imagined, that process can be probably compared with the punchline of a good joke. Mind-altering thoughts are awesome! It’s like realising that wrestling is fake, sex is dirty and a punch in the face actually hurts.

October 29, 2008 at 7:04 pm Leave a comment

Time

“How can I miss you, if you don’t go away?”

And another day went where I only managed to finish the title to a new post. Now, don’t say one-word-titles go easy. It seems like there is no stop on the timetable of the busy train. Does ‘busy’ maybe derive from business? Take some operations, add a thousand documents, put it into some procedures and mix it quickly together. Squeeze it into a small cubicle and press some poor worker on top of it. Dispose the overflowing time into some management boxes. Now just add some additional tasks and meetings and a lot of coffee and watch some existence perish.
But we won’t paint everything black here. Time is the only thing that truly belongs to everyone of us. Whether you do what some strange guys in camouflage dresses tell you to do or just watch a candle burn down. In the end, it’s mainly your decision. If you don’t think it is or want to counter with some life after death ideas, you’d better stick to your religion and stop reading blasphemous blogs.

So you’re still reading? Well, so the message is that you should take your time seriously. You’ll probably regret every second when you’re fifty, have gathered loads of money or knowledge and kiss the box by cardiac arrest. Alright, dead man don’t regret, but in an hypothetical way. It’s important to go wherever and try whatever you want to advance your self-realisation and probably to find some kind of happiness.
Do anything you want, except trying to destroy the world maybe!

September 16, 2008 at 6:05 pm Leave a comment

Lapsus Linguae

“When I want your opinion, I’ll give it to you.” – Samuel Goldwyn (assumed)

Language is fun. You can do almost anything with words. Even if they come out wrong they still make sense. When you know how to communicate on the exact right level, you’re able to achieve most things. As with many other areas ‘the more you know – the better you can handle situations’ counts. The better you understand, the more you can make yourself and your arguments understandable. It’s like a pool with waves representing statements. A good recipient takes a wave, balances it, and returns a compensated one back to its sender.

Now, it’s fun when it comes to humorous statements resulting from the use of paradoxes. Some Goldwynisms (Samuel Goldwyn, producer for motion picture studios from the ’20s to the ’50s) I recommend:
I don’t want any yes-men around me. I want everyone to tell the truth – even though it costs him his job.
Tell them to stand closer apart.
You fail to overlook the crucial point.
I’ll give you a definite maybe.
Include me out.
Then there are the Yogiisms (baseball player Peter Berra around the ’50s and ’60s) featuring oxymoronic redundancies.
Ninety percent of this game is half mental.
Always go to other people’s funerals, otherwise they won’t come to yours.
It’s like déjà vu all over again.
It ain’t over till it’s over.
Other malapropisms known as Farberisms (after David Farber, IT scientist since the ’50s and lecturer afterwards) are illogical and non sequitur statements.
That solution fills a much needed gap.
It’s the vilest smell I ever heard.
Let them fry in their socks.
You can also have much fun with Spoonerisms (by William Spooner, priest and lecturer around the beginning of the 19th century). That works in various languages and combinations.
Let us glaze our asses to the queer old Dean. (raise our glasses .. dear old Queen)
We’ll have the hags flung out. (flags hung)
Kentucky schreit ficken. (Kentucky Fried Chicken)
Go and shake a tower. (take a shower)

June 27, 2008 at 8:32 pm Leave a comment


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