Lapsus Linguae

“When I want your opinion, I’ll give it to you.” – Samuel Goldwyn (assumed)

Language is fun. You can do almost anything with words. Even if they come out wrong they still make sense. When you know how to communicate on the exact right level, you’re able to achieve most things. As with many other areas ‘the more you know – the better you can handle situations’ counts. The better you understand, the more you can make yourself and your arguments understandable. It’s like a pool with waves representing statements. A good recipient takes a wave, balances it, and returns a compensated one back to its sender.

Now, it’s fun when it comes to humorous statements resulting from the use of paradoxes. Some Goldwynisms (Samuel Goldwyn, producer for motion picture studios from the ’20s to the ’50s) I recommend:
I don’t want any yes-men around me. I want everyone to tell the truth – even though it costs him his job.
Tell them to stand closer apart.
You fail to overlook the crucial point.
I’ll give you a definite maybe.
Include me out.
Then there are the Yogiisms (baseball player Peter Berra around the ’50s and ’60s) featuring oxymoronic redundancies.
Ninety percent of this game is half mental.
Always go to other people’s funerals, otherwise they won’t come to yours.
It’s like déjà vu all over again.
It ain’t over till it’s over.
Other malapropisms known as Farberisms (after David Farber, IT scientist since the ’50s and lecturer afterwards) are illogical and non sequitur statements.
That solution fills a much needed gap.
It’s the vilest smell I ever heard.
Let them fry in their socks.
You can also have much fun with Spoonerisms (by William Spooner, priest and lecturer around the beginning of the 19th century). That works in various languages and combinations.
Let us glaze our asses to the queer old Dean. (raise our glasses .. dear old Queen)
We’ll have the hags flung out. (flags hung)
Kentucky schreit ficken. (Kentucky Fried Chicken)
Go and shake a tower. (take a shower)

Thou shallow mind

As your mind wanders, you may find yourself thinking about this one thing that’s never lazy. This one process that keeps on going till the end of your time. It’s the thought that never stops. It changes its face everywhere you look. Every different influence changes its way. Even when your body is sleeping, some parts of your central processing unit are still highly active.
From the moment we’re born, every sense is trained thus helping us to focus on specific things. Only after months and years of learning we’ve become able to focus on processes and their connections and therewith understand complex structures and our influence on those.

The problem arises when we’ve lost our interest in things. Without some special point of interest we use to wander around without getting the feeling of success. Focus is pretty important for anything you want to achieve. With all too far scattered interests you’re in danger of becoming a library containing short moments of nothing. Then again, if you concentrate too much, you become poison for yourself and others. Examples are: impotent top athletes, mad scientists, blind top managers – or as I may call them: failures in evolution.

Focus, but keep it real!

Wanderer:
Inmates of the Cebu Provincial Det. & Rehab. Center, Philippines ~ at YouTube
Körperzellenrock ~ at YouTube

Thinking of loosing

One of the most interesting feelings in our life might be the ‘let go’ feeling. It’s the one you might sense when you’re on a train, travelling against the sun and leaving your home. It’s also there when you’re saying goodbye at the grave of a loved one and finally realise that the end of someone special is another chance for you at the same time.
It’s having a tearful eye while the other one is smiling. Depending on your thoughts of looking forward and your troubles with the process of letting go, it may seem easier one time whereas it can seem almost impossible at another time. Memorising persons or places is an important ability. We shouldn’t forget the bad things that happened in order to prevent the repeating of things that didn’t have the outcome we wanted. Nevertheless, we should always try to keep the good things in mind as well. We have to treasure these memories of joy as they are our mental achievements.

Every break-up means the destruction of existing connections and pain as a consequence thereof. At the same time, if we are able to use these open connections, we can gain a lot of new experiences. In such situations it is essential to look forward to new possibilities and not to find only grief and despair in the past. Don’t loose yourself in thoughts about things you can’t change anymore.
Get a seat in direction of travel or you might get sick!

You got one of a sentence

Inevitable a mass is condemned to disintegrate into sparks of matter daring the insubstantiality of nothing but space, only to search for refuge at its own kind to build up new patterns of something else, and thus trying to satisfy its need for being special whereas the specification that would make it special is the same for everything of the same kind making it even more ordinary than the existence of nothing else, which leaves the feeling of an useless search for a meaning, regardless of the fact that a meaning could only make sense with the knowledge of everything as well as of its underlying condition called nothing at all.

I’m going to give it up here. I don’t want to give away every secret life offers. Honestly, one has to go far just to find out who he or she really is and where one belongs to. Maybe we won’t find it out at all. But does it really matter? Shouldn’t we enjoy every single thing even if it only leaves a bitter taste in your mouth? Every moment is worth breathing air into your lungs like it would be the one single really existing matter filling us with something we would call hope for finding more. More that’s waiting for us, out of our current sight, but knowing that we’re coming to taste it like it was the rain after running a marathon.
Knowledge is the weight on your shoulders just like it is your parachute!

To care or not to care

Sometimes you don’t have to be sober to look at the world straight. Of course, if you prefer to do that without red, scratching eyes, a sore throat, the classical headache and no voice to express your feelings, you might want to get rid of some chemicals in your blood first.
Now, that we see trough our optical sense organs again, tell me what you see. Did I ask too quickly? Don’t mind! I’m going to explain it to you anyway. Most people care about the wrong things in life. I told you about wrong perspectives before (In change we find our relevance). Today I’m going to take the opposite position. As stated before, it’s important that we care about the big troubles in the world as well as to care about the small ones. A saying, probably Chinese, is somewhat like ‘take the serious problems with ease and the easy problems seriously’. You can really convert that to a larger scale. It truly makes no sense to abstain from eating because somewhere children are starving. You should, if your health is at risk by overeating, but not for anybody, anywhere.

The particular thing I want to pronounce is, you have to be able to say ‘I don’t give a crap!’. So many things in life are just unimportant. One main aspect about persons you love or like is that you care about them. Does that make sense if you also care about: shiny nail polish, alloy wheel rims, stupid shop assistants, cold coffee, bugging financial consultants? Make time your Christmas present. The ones who don’t value it, you don’t need to consider next year.
Those who matter don’t mind, and those who mind don’t matter!

In times like these

Writing can be a massage for your soul. However, sometimes it tends to be more like a pain in the posterior. Mostly, that’s the case when you think you can use the aforesaid body part for the actual creative thinking process. The reason is that thinking itself is heavily influenced by every one of your operational senses. So, sitting on your rear part and just staring at a piece of paper is probably as inspiring as counting your own body hair.
Distractions are good for your thoughts. Actually, not every diversion is a good one. If you just got right into a special thought, it can really – oh, there is the coffee, gently smoothing around my keyboard ..where was I?

So everything changes. Every second new inventions are made, people change their minds and idiots forget to switch off their phones in the library. Despite the fact that every hour an announcement about turning off all phones whilst being at the inside is played. Even the announcement is annoying. But let’s be reasonable, it could have been an important call. Who wouldn’t want to know if bananas were for sale in your local store. And, hey, bananas! Anyhow, what really is embarrassing are those ring tones where you think somebody brought in a live band. First of all, your mobile sucks. Secondly, your music sounds like crap. And thirdly, you are what you like.
You can tell who to dislike by their ring tone and volume!